


What no cowman has worn before

by suludemora



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Coffee Shops, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8937976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suludemora/pseuds/suludemora
Summary: The last thing Jesse McCree wanted was to join Starfleet. Not because he thought that being a force of good was a bad thing, oh no, he'd grown out of that phase years ago. 
He just really didn't want to wear those uniforms. 
(McHanzo Week Day 3: AU)





	

**Author's Note:**

> you know how they say engineers hate writing? well it's true but for mchanzo I'll make an exception. 
> 
> Anyway have a Star Trek AU where neither of them are actually in Starfleet and Hanzo owns a coffee shop in space.

                A red blur shot through the doors almost exactly at the midpoint of gamma shift. It made a beeline for the darkest, most secluded, and altogether worst seat in the café. Hanzo poked around the coffee machine, trying to see what it was that just entered his previously empty shop. The middle of gamma shift usually only saw a handful of customers, as everyone as either asleep or on duty. He wasn’t too worried about robbers; even though they were near the edge of Federation space, the Omnics on the other side of the border were friendly, and there were much better targets aboard the space station to rob than a coffee shop.

                “May I help you?” he asked the figure in the corner. They were wearing a Starfleet command uniform, so Hanzo decided not to worry about a potential robbery.

                “Howdy, Hanzo,” the figure said in a familiar voice. Hanzo stared.

                “Jesse?” he asked. Jesse waved. “What are you doing wearing that?”

                The man glanced at the door. “Well, you see, the Starfleet recruiters just came in, and my ship has gone off overnight so I couldn’t hide there, and your station’s commander hates me and I never got a guest room, so I asked Genji if I could borrow his for the time being.” He shifted in his seat. “It’s a little tight but it’s all he had on him.” Jesse paused, and then snorted. “Literally, on him.”

                It took a moment for Hanzo to process what the man had just said. “You… Genji gave you his only Starfleet uniform while you are both stuck on the station overnight, and he did not have the foresight to pack a spare.” Jesse nodded. “Is he currently wearing your ridiculous outfit?” Jesse shook his head. Hanzo felt a small amount of relief, which was quickly replaced by horror at the sudden realization that- “Is he wearing anything at the moment?”

                “Well, he’s got his armor-“

                “My brother is walking around the station, naked.”

                Jesse raised his hands up defensively. “Well hey, the metal’s covering him, and that omnic pal of his, Zenyatta, he took off his pants things so Genji wouldn’t feel weird about it.” He shrunk back a bit at Hanzo’s tired glare.

                “I should just contact the recruiters and notify them of your location,” he said, turning away from Jesse and setting to work on a mug of coffee. Jesse made a panicked sound.

                “Hanzo-babe-you can’t! I do whatever Captain Winston says while I’m on board the ship, I’ll help out on Starfleet missions and all, but I can’t let them recruit me! Can you imagine me in this,” he gestured down at the command reds, even though Hanzo was still facing away from him, “all the time? It’d be a damn disgrace, that’s what it’d be.”

                “Your cowboy boots are a disgrace,” Hanzo replied smoothly, spooning some sugar into the mug.

                “They’d probably make me shave,” Jesse said, desperately trying to convince Hanzo of the necessity of keeping him out of Starfleet.

                “Good. Your beard itches anyway,” Hanzo teased, tapping the spoon on the rim of the mug and turning back to Jesse. He stepped around the counter and made his way over to Jesse’s table, setting the coffee in front of him. “But I have grown fond of it, I suppose.” Jesse beamed.

                “Hanzo, I love you,” he said, reaching out for the coffee. He blew on it before taking a sizable gulp of the hot drink.

                “I should hope so, or I have misunderstood the meaning of ‘fiancés.’”

                “You’re supposed to say ‘I love you too,’ babe,” Jesse said.

                “Is that so?” Hanzo asked, grinning. The cowboy (dressed as a Starfleet officer) collapsed onto the table in exaggerated defeat.

                “You’re killing me,” he mumbled.

                “Doctor Ziegler will bring you back,” Hanzo said, patting his fiancé on the head consolingly. Jesse pouted at him from the table. “We still have our wedding to attend to, after all.”

                “And a honeymoon on Risa,” Jesse added, pulling himself upright. Hanzo sighed.

                “Jesse, we have been over this. Risa is overrated and I am still convinced that it is a Ferengi scheme to con money out of those who do not know any better. I will not allow my honeymoon to take place on a second-rate pleasure planet.”

                Jesse laughed. “Only you would call Risa second-rate, hon, but if there’s somewhere else you’d rather go, we’ll go. I don’t much care, as long as I’m with you,” he said, reaching across the table to place his hand on Hanzo’s. The café owner blushed.

                “Ew,” he said. Then an idea struck him and he smirked. “So you have no objections to a honeymoon on the Breen homeworld?” he asked jokingly.

                Jesse shivered at the thought. As far as anyone in the Federation knew, the Breen homeworld made Antarctica look like a tropical vacation spot. “Maybe not anywhere. I kinda like not being frozen into a block of ice.”

                Hanzo chuckled, rising from his seat. “Well, from what I hear, Starfleet uniforms are poorly insulated. You would be better off in your obnoxious red blanket.” He moved to the entrance of the café, shut the door, and pulled the blinds closed. Hanzo locked the door and flipped the sign over to CLOSED.  

                Jesse smiled at him, eyes warm. “Aw, thanks, Hanzo. Now, since there’s no danger of being found by the recruiters, I guess I can just take this off.” His hands reached behind him to start the process of peeling the uniform off. 

                “Jesse, no.”

                “Aw, come on, hon.”

                “You do not have spare clothes.”

                “That’s the point, babe.”

                “Not in my café.”

                “Babe-“

                “Hanzo to Commander Vaswani. Requesting a site-to-site transport to my quarters. Yes, I am aware that it is a burden on resources. I am collecting on that favor you owe me. Two to transport.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of ideas about a Star Trek AU for Overwatch but alas, I never write anything.
> 
> Star Trek notes:  
> \- Gamma shift: From Memory Alpha, gamma shift on the Enterprise-D lasted from 2300 to 0700, so I'd imagine anyone not on duty would be asleep. The beginning of gamma shift probably sees a lot of customers, though, so Hanzo works gamma and alpha shift.  
> \- Jesse works on a small Starfleet ship that doesn't go very far from the station that Hanzo's shop is at. Mostly they just help the Omnics recover from that one time the Borg tried to infect them all with a virus.  
> \- Everyone says that the Breen homeworld is a frozen wasteland except Weyoun, and I trust everyone else over Weyoun.  
> \- Risa isn't second-rate Hanzo's just picky.  
> \- A site-to-site transport means you can go from point A to point B without having to stop at the transporter pad in between.  
> \- Jesse still dresses like a cowboy because if he does it in 2070 he can do it in the 24th century. 
> 
> find me at velthomerr.tumblr.com


End file.
